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Eight Things You Should Never Say To An African Girl

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You should never say any of the below phrases to a typical african girl – especially a Nigerian – mainly because of this two reasons, saying it to her may be a mistake that you may end up paying for, for the rest of your life or it may just be a waste of time and breath because she’s only going to lie to you.

Learn from those of us who have gone before you, my friends. Memorize these things and never say them.

Below are the Eight things you should never say to an African woman.

Image source: Verastatic.com

1. How old are you

​I once met a girl in school that was 21 years all through her 4 year program in school.

Lesson learnt: Dont bother asking of their age. They wont give you an honest answer, so theres no point asking.

2. Did you just fart

Recently i jokingly confronted a girl who farted in my presence and to my surprise she denied it – she didnt even consider the fact that it was just the two us in the room – and left the room.

Lesson learnt: When a girl farts in front of you, just cease breathing and ignore her, afterall it won’t smell forever.

Dont bother asking a girl this particular question, she will deny it. She will even deny it in front of Jesus christ.

3. How many men have you slept with

Even if you’ve already told her how many girls you’ve slept with, you should never ask her how many men she’s slept with. The reason you should never ask this question is because you don’t want to know. There is nothing to be gained from the knowledge of how many other men she’s slept with. The only thing it will do is change the way you feel about her. If it’s too high, you’ll think she just gives it up to any guy, and if it’s too low you’ll wonder if there is something wrong with her.

4. What is your name, again?

If you can’t remember her name just play along and act like you know it, before long it will come to you, hopefully.

There is nothing to be gained from asking a new catch this question. She’s only going to walk out on you.

5. Your friend is hot

Image source: identity-mag.com

You can feel free to tell her that her friend is cool, funny, nice or even ugly, but try to avoid making any references to her friend’s hotness. Doing this will only make her feel jealous and angry and trust me you dont want her to be both jealous and angry at the same time.
The only way you are getting a way with such a statment is if you end it with “but shes not as hot as you”.

6. Are you sure its mine

Only ask her this question if you are sure, and i mean 100% sure that the baby is not yours. If you do otherwise and it is later proven that the baby is yours, well just know that she will never forget the fact that you almost rejected the baby because you thought she was a slut.

***This doesnt apply to celebrities.

7. Is That What You’re Going To Wear?”

To avoid getting into trouble, just tell her how good she looks even if she’s wearing a Rag. Offering your girl or any girl for that matter any other fashion advice is asking for blood.

For more enlightenment on this matter, go watch blackish season 1 episode 13.

Besides why tell her that when she’s only going to take another hour trying on different outfits.

8. you are wrong

A girl is always right. go ask your Mama, even when shes wrong, shes Right.

****

9. You cannot even cook
If you try it. Be rest assured, she may never cook for you again. And i mean never.



Uzonna Anele
Anele is a web developer and a Pan-Africanist who believes bad leadership is the only thing keeping Africa from taking its rightful place in the modern world.

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